Here's the most up-to-date list of everything that's causing everyone to suddenly die:
Climate change: Starting with the most obvious here.
Standing up too quickly: You have to stand up slower!
Standing up too slowly: You have to stand up faster!
Excitement from watching She-Hulk: Try pausing the show and slowly breathing into a paper bag to calm back down.
Crushing grief about how tough things have been for Harry and Meghan lately: They've just been through so much. All they want is some privacy!
Not enough bugs in your diet: You must eat ze bugs!
Saying "love you" out of habit at the end of a phone call with your coworker: A moment of silence for these poor souls.
Being misgendered: Millions die this way every day.
Trying to hold it for the entire duration of Avatar 2: Bladder explosion has been linked to heart explosion.
You're a Victorian-era damsel and a mouse scurries out in front of you: You're going to want to keep a fainting couch close by to cushion your fall.
Heartbreak after hearing of Dr. Fauci's retirement: You can in fact die of a broken heart.
Accidentally touching the Ark of the Covenant: Experts say this accounts for over half of myocarditis deaths.
Having to use the gas station bathroom: Instant fatality!
Someone dropped your favorite ring into the fires of Mount Doom: Nooooooooooo!
Getting an experimental, untested substance injected into your body multiple times: Nah... couldn't be that.
Well, there you have it, everyone. Watch out for these, and stay safe out there!
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